The Not Thanksgiving

   I would have to say that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  Christmas, coming a close second.
With Christmas, I usually feel an unsettled energy moving around.
But with Thanksgiving, you get the family and friends, and not have all the commercialism.
You just get a table laden with good food and company-usually. We haven't spent too many Thanksgivings alone, since moving. One or two.

   Last year I didn't want to have Thanksgiving, but did, and it was exactly what I needed.  It was great having family around. It was the therapy I needed.
   This year, we are alone for the holiday. It was a little strange. We had all caught a virus last week, so in a way, it turned out we wouldn't have had company anyhow. And despite us not feeling well, I still bought a turkey, and made dinner. And home made pumpkin pie-which was requested by my son. We all sat down.

And didn't eat.

   Didn't eat! I think my son and I ate a few bites, which was more than the other two people at the table. I told my husband it was the saddest Thanksgiving yet, that we've had. All this food-which granted, I shouldn't have made-and no one was hungry. We all are feeling crappy.

  In the back of my mind, I thought that might happen. But I wanted to bring at least part of Thanksgiving into our home. It's like Thanksgiving didn't happen. Except that I spent most of the day in the kitchen.  Only because I kept trying various baking recipes to try, so it wasn't a complete waste. I watched the parade with my boys this morning.

  Today was just the Thanksgiving that wasn't.

One Month

    I'm challenging myself.
Can I post daily for one month?
What would I talk about?
Usually thoughts I want to share only strike every few days. Since I'm starting this blog for a reason,
I feel I need to challenge myself.
But...

 I'm not starting until December.

At the end of December, I might have to take a break.

Maybe I'll find a writing nitch.

Perhaps something exciting will happen-hey, it might snow!

Either way, I believe at the end of the month, I'll have found something within myself.

A Tangled thought on marriage

  We celebrated our eight year anniversary recently.
  It has caused me to reflect on our years together, events that have happened.

I keep thinking about those couples you meet, or see in a movie. Ones from old times of Italy,
 or Greece, where marriages were arranged. Strangers living together in a house, having a family, and eventually, become a home. Becoming a couple who not only respects each other, but loves each other.

  I feel like we are the start of that couple. How is that possible after knowing each other for a decade?  What have we been leading up to this point?  We have a family now, and own a house. We moved in search of better careers.
  Yet along the way, we've become different people. All people change. How do you not change in two years, let alone ten?  Would we date if we were to meet each other, being the people we are today? Would we have anything in common? Or is it the differences that keep people together?

  We both said the same thing though, on our anniversary. We were happy to be here, because we almost were not. The past year was filled with enough trials, harsh words, tears, anger and mistrust, that I'm not sure how we got through it. We are slowly healing. We are learning to trust again. We know we love each other.

  But I think love is always changing. And I know if I chose not to analyze it, it becomes something else. It becomes a life force of it's own.

On cord blood, flying and the flue

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2010

  This week a few headlines caught my eye, and at first I sort of stewed over a few, but have since collected my thoughts and started sweeping out the dust.


On Cord Clamping

    First I saw a headline about newborn cord clamping, and I brushed past that, until I saw it again. Now really, it's not rocket science, to wait to clamp the cord until it is finished pulsing. (this actually comes up every few months, so not new at all)  Midwives have been doing this delayed clamping for years. Some Obgyns actually do too. If you don't know what cord clamping is, Empowered Childbirth has a nice write up on it- http://www.empoweredchildbirth.com/articles/birth/noclamp.html . WHO, supposedly has been recommending it. But, when I think back, I was never told about this-from any of the Obgyns  I met. Why not?  I blindly trusted my dr, being a first time parent and all. I didn't find out about the different birth choices, until I searched for a breastfeeding support group, the day we brought our son home. With the approach of our second son, I was better prepared, and we let the cord go until it was done pulsing. Though, he was born in a birth center, so the whole scene was very different, than that of a hospital. Delayed cord clamping can also be done with Cesareans, though I doubt that info comes up in the dr's office much. Also, if I wanted to collect cord blood, and delay clamping, that is possible as well.

 Road Trips

  Awhile ago I saw about the body scanners at the airport. You can of course opt out of this and  get a pat down. Now, yesterday and today, I see that TSA has a new pat down policy. I wonder how long it will stay in place. Apparently, if you opt out of the scan, you will now be patted down quite "personally", as a nice way to put it. Front of hand pat down.  At the moment, children under 12 are excluded. Yet, there is no exact description of the new policy. I think if there were, more people would be in an outrage than there already is. What exactly is okay about any of this? Nothing!  The body scan bothered me from the start, and  there is already a leak of images out there. http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=139918  Well, are the images stored or aren't they? What are they going to do with them? I'm not okay with these new rules of flying. So, I won't fly. How many airlines will start to suffer with the new regulations? Or will people just go along? I guess it's back to road trips for us. 

   Remember road trips? I went on one yearly as a child. We didn't fly, it was too expensive. And we usually weren't driving that far anyhow. Road trips could be boring, but they were sometimes fun too.  With the expense of flying with a family being high anyhow, we've been discussing driving in any future trips, so not flying is not a big deal to me. But it is to those who don't want to take road trips, or can't. What about them? What choice are they left with? The train I guess, if one's available. 

A Flu Rant-Yes, it is a rant about the vaccine(s), so, just, you know, brush past if you don't care
  Yes or no? Compared to last year and the hoopla surrounding H1N1, there doesn't seem much about the flu vax. This year it is a combo of seasonal and the H1N1.  What about those who do not want H1N1? Out of curiosity, I called a local pediatrician. Well, they do have just the seasonal vaccine-without both Mercury and H1N1. It's called Fluzone, and made by Sanori Pasteur. But, you have to make sure to request that one.
   One interesting thing about the flue vaccines, is, in all the inserts, under Pregnant and Nursing Women-there are no safety studies to the fetus, or the breastfeeding infants. And none of them are approved in infants under 6m old. So, why now are pregnant women supposed to get the vaccine? How many women will get the combo vaccine not knowing this? It's not like the insert information is readily handed out. We just ask if it's safe.  http://www.fda.gov/downloads/biologicsbloodvaccines/.../ucm195479.pdf   Another option would of course be the Flumist, which is a Live vaccine, and includes H1N1. The percent is to be minimal for transmission, but really, think about that.  Back to that call to the pediatrician-I was told no Flumist if my child has asthma, or breathing problems. But, they didn't inform me not to give it to my infant under 2yrs old. Can't doctors and nurses read? And to throw just one more wrench to the flu vaccine, there is Afluria. http://www.aafp.org/online/en/home/publications/news/news-now/clinical-care-research/20100812afluria.html
Somewhere at the bottom of the page, it mentions to give Afluria, only if there is no other vaccine available. And how many times do we hear that there is a flu vaccine shortage. Enough, that I'm sure we'll hear about Afluria in US circulation at some point. Either by intention or mistake.

An End?
   Wait, there was also a thing about labeling cigarette packages with horrible photos and captions about health dangers. So, in today's paper, a cartoonist drew a picture of a cow. The cow was smoking and had a photo of a man's head-that said, "meat eater" on it. A chicken sat on the cow. The cow was saying, "I better go take my hormones", and the chicken replies, "Me too". I thought it pretty funny, until you think about the seriousness of GMO's, what we eat and the implications of it all.

I believe the cobwebs are gone...for now.

A Week of Adventures

  How adventurous can we make our days? 
  I have five days. Five days that include schoolwork, housework, wife, mom, errands, phone calls, dogs, cooking meals (most from scratch), and in there somewhere, I have to find time for me, and for Play. 


 What is play? 

 Well, it's making dough and getting flour everywhere. It's sitting on the floor and playing a game, coloring with the boys, or even playing cars. It's throwing ball with dad after dinner. It's learning to let some things slide, so the boys grow up knowing, that regardless of what needed to be done, mom and dad still had time for the fun stuff.


 We had a great week. Besides the busted lip incident and the 2 some what large holes in the back yard-courtesy of the malamutes.

Going Up Top

 
  "Going Up Top!"
   I hear two little boys yelling this, and a pounding of feet down the hall.


 Crash


  "We're just playing football, mom!"


 More little pattering down the hall. Back down again, and this time through the kitchen.

  "Going up top!"


  Wham!

  I see, a little body go flying backwards onto the floor.  Silence. Then crying.
 In the split second I wonder if he slammed off the wall, but no, he fell the wrong way. I'm almost afraid to look at his face...the one now hiding behind his hand.

  "I ran into the corner of the couch. There's blood!"


 Ok, not so bad. Split lip. But not enough to get stitches. The mention of a dr sends more of a hysteria through this little body, than the sight of the blood on my arm, or his face. Get some ice, some hugs and all is ok.

  Going up top. Some how, I don't think two little boys will be running through the kitchen, and around the corner, quite so quickly. Two little boys, that could have had a brother or sister running right behind them. One, Three and Five. It's starting to settle in that we would have had three children running around. When I tuck the boys in, I wonder where I would have placed the other bed.

When I bought a booster seat a week ago...a passing thought that I would have been switching a different seat as well.

 When I realized that we would have had a birthday party, I just stared at the calendar. The day was my own. I enveloped it. Breathed it in. Cried. And after I tucked my boys in that night, I said a Happy Birthday, to that child. I felt it was one thing I could do, for how many a first birthday do you get to have?

"Going up top!"


 Maybe I heard a third chuckle as the boys were running around. Maybe it was just my imagination. Either way, I can smile now at the thought without crying,  and yes the sound, that I think was only for my ears alone to hear.....

Kindness and Beauty

   How is neighbor defined? Is it the person next door? Is it the family down the street? A stranger who does a kind deed? Or all of those?


 We were at the farmer market-they have a section of produce where you can fill a bag for $1.00-that's a lot of produce! There was a woman there choosing what she wanted, and after greeting her, told her that she was very pretty. I felt obligated (what today's world has done to us), to quickly clarify that I meant it as a compliment, nothing more. She replies to me, "You tell me I am pretty, that is how I take it. You are being honest, it is from the heart." We struck up a conversation about cooking, and I figured I was finished, so turned to go away. She tells me, "No, no, fill the bag to the top, look at mine. Learn from your neighbor.", and she proceeded to toss me 2 more peppers, some limes and lemons-ones she had chosen for herself. I realized how beautiful this woman was-from the inside. Too often we see people of greed, selfishness and the ugliness of their soul just shows clean through. 
  
  Now, I home school our kids. At least this year we are. I've met some wonderful families near us. Some of those moms have offered me text and materials, until I was able to purchase my own. As most of these moms have been home schooling for many years now.  For anyone who home schools, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say looking at curriculum can be quite overwhelming. The cost alone on some of the programs is daunting enough some times,  (though still cheaper than a private school). It's kind of frustrating when you miss the home school convention and miss out at looking at all the very cool stuff! The kindness of these families is just awesome. How many people hand over a curriculum that may cost a pretty penny, or took some time finding at a decent cost, for you to view? Trust that you will return it, and in the same condition? I have to say, I have never met a network like home school families. Everyone I have met, has been welcoming and I feel very fortunate to both learn from those who have been on the road awhile, and also finding my way with other new families.


  Now, we try to give back. There's some saying about if you give away things in a selfless act, the good deed returns to you. I believe that. Yes, we sell what we can, to help our own finances, but we donate as well. Our boys are learning to be selfless and donate. That, is clutter off my soul.